Biter
by emeraldstarforever
Summary: Funny one-shot that is good for a quick read. Bella is the new girl in town, and Edward falls for her immediately. Will he be able to surpress his strange and embarassing quirk? Please give it a chance  a little strange, but funny!  Don't forget to review


**A random one-shot that I came up with (it's my first one).**

**Enjoy! **

**P.S. Don't forget to review **

School. Again. I leaned back in my Volvo, trying to relax, unsuccessfully. I suddenly remembered Alice mentioning that there was going to be a new girl coming in today – Isabella Swan? Ah, yes, the supposed daughter of the chief of police. That brought me back to unpleasant memories…

**FLASHBACK**

'Edward…' Emmett complained, tugging at my earphones.

'Quit listening to your boring classical music! I'm bored… come play with me!'

'Emmett…' I used the same whiney voice. '1. You are 19 years old, you no longer 'play' anymore. 2. Ask Jasper, and leave me alone.'

He rolled his eyes, and forced me up from the comfortable couch.

'Ouch!' I yelled, ripping my arm from his grasp. Rolling up my sleeve, I could distinctly see 5 bruise shaped marks in the shape of stubby fingers. 'What the hell did you do that for?'

'Stop being a baby, and come do something with me!' I growled, knowing I'd better just listen to him. I knew that he would somehow get into trouble if I was not there to prevent him – and I would take the blame as always.

'Fine, but if I'm getting dragged into this, then so is Jasper'.

He shrugged, bot looking bothered.

'The more, the merry!'

'The more, the mer_rier_!' I corrected, still grumbling.

So, after a lot of resistance on Jasper's part, we finally stood outside Wal-Mart, the supermarket of cheap goods. Emmett strolled inside.

'Emmett!' I hissed. He knew about my strange allergic reaction to supermarkets like this – they creeped me out, and I always had a feeling that if I turned my back on something for a second, it would jump onto my back and suffocate me with their reasonable prices.

'Jasper'. Emmett gave him a look that read 'It's time to bring out the muscles'.

So together, they flexed their biceps, ready to grab me by the legs and drag me inside.

'Noooooo!' I let out a terrible scream as I was pulled inside my nightmare, sliding on my stomach across the shiny floor. I swear I only got this allergy after I met Alice – she must've rubbed onto me really badly. Emmett and Jasper stopped dragging me once we had reached the centre and stepped back to watch my pain with humour on their evil faces.

I started to have a mini tantrum there on the floor, banging the floor with my fists and pulling my hair. I was started to attract some attention now – I mean, come on, how else was I supposed to act, huh? Did they expect me to sit there calmly? I was getting wild now, how could they sell these products so cheaply? I needed to destroy them! DESTROY! DESTROY! So I started to thrash around wildly, knocking over a neatly stacked pyramid of tinned tuna and sliding things off shelves. People were running out of my way now, looking at me like I was some crazed lunatic.

'Get out of the way, Mike, get out of the way!' I heard a panicky mother yell at her child, who was coming towards me. He had blonde hair and blue eyes – the picture of a DEVIL!

'Arghhh!' I roared, pouncing at him.

'EEEEPPPPP!' He shrieked in response. I grabbed the closest thing next to me – a packet of cereal – and poured it all over his perfect little blonde head, making sure to mix it in nicely.

'Edward Cullen!' Yelled a deep gruff voice. 'I suggest you unhand that 7 year old boy at once, before I have to remove him from you forcefully!'

I dropped the kid at once (who ran to his mother, crying – no doubt because of his now messed up hair), and looked fearfully into the eyes of chief Swan, who looked thunderous.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Can you believe that I was the one who spent the night in jail? It so should have been Emmett and Jasper. Shaking my head to rid them of the thoughts, I saw that I was already at school – I had somehow been driving subconsciously.

Sighing again, I unwillingly dragged myself out of the car, only to be knocked into swiftly by a mass of brown hair.

'Agh!' I yelled, surprised, dropping to the floor. The brown haired person lifted herself up, and I could finally see her face. Wow, it was beautiful – the most stunning one that I'd ever seen. Her eyes were deep brown, and her complexion one of an angel.

'Oh, my, gosh, I'm s-so sorry; I-I d-didn't see you'. She was stuttering, an adorable blush creeping onto her cheeks.

'That's okay'. I cut her off with a smile. 'It was just unexpected'.

Looking closer, I realised that I hadn't seen her face before…

'Oh, are you Isabella Swan?' I asked, surprised.

'Bella'. She corrected firmly, with another blush. 'And you are?'

She enquired.

'Edward Cullen'. I said. She nodded, then after a few seconds a look of acknowledgement swept across her face.

'Wait, you wouldn't be the notorious Edward Cullen my dad is always telling me about – the one that went crazy at Wal-Mart?'

I groaned, so not the first impression that I wanted to make.

***SOME TIME LATER***

Bella was in my biology class, too, and to my extreme pleasure and joy, she was told to be seated next to me. I was determined to make her see the real me – no matter what her dad told her. The biology lesson passed in a flash with her by my side, both of us peeking at each other occasionally. Okay, I'll admit it; I did most of the peeking.

'So, do you want to have lunch with me now' I asked, secretly hoping she'd say yes. It was 5th period, which meant that it was lunch next.

She looked very surprised at first, but then pleased. 'Sure'. She said easily, a smile breaking across her face, causing mine too shape into a big grin too.

'Great!' We then made a beeline to the cafeteria, me leading as she didn't know her way around, and practically prancing with joy inside at her acceptation. Over lunch, we made easy conversation, finding many common interests – I found that she liked the same music as me, a surprise as most girls are into pop music. All was going well and flowing, until she asked a dreaded question.

'So'. She began, chewing on a slice of pizza. 'You must have some faults. I mean, you are too perfect to be true!'

I smiled a little at that, but my face dropped. She saw that, of course (she saw EVERYTHING), and asked what was wrong. I thought about my only fault – my kink in my shiny armour, the hole in my perfection, call it what you will. I found out, when I was 6 or 7, that I had a liking of biting things. A bit vampiric, but in a way, it was different. It helped when I needed to concentrate, or even when I was bored. I even did it in my sleep – sometimes I would wake up with a pillow in my mouth and I would end up chocking because of the feathers. Once, I fell asleep, on the kitchen table and realised when I woke up that I had bitten all the plates, forks and even the table itself! I had cracked a tooth after that, and vowed never to fall asleep in the kitchen again. I hadn't bitten anything for a couple of weeks now - determined to break the obsession (even going to the extreme as taping my mouth shut at bedtime). The need to bite was growing stronger now – almost irresistible. I knew it was only a matter of time before I cracked and bit something. I could only hope that it was in private (so not to face the humiliation), and if anyone had to see, let it be my family. (Even though Jasper and Emmett would start teasing me again – another reason why I wanted to stop).

I said nothing, and she knew that I did have an answer for her question, and wouldn't stop trying to wheedle it out of me all throughout lunch-time. I wouldn't let up – if I told her, she would never want anything to do with me again – more so than last time. The last two periods passed quickly enough, and when Bella met me at the parking lot, she was still interrogating me. I sighed.

'Bella, would you just let it go? I have nothing to say'. By the look on her face, I knew she wouldn't believe me, and in truth, neither did I.

'Fine'. She snapped suddenly, heading towards her big rusty truck, going to ride home. Disgruntled, I caught her wrist to stop her… I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. As she spun around to look at me, I lifted the hand already in my hand to press it to my lips, murmuring

'See you again soon'. God, her skin was so soft and pure!

The hardness in her eyes melted, and something pooled into them. Love? I wish. Still watching her eyes, I saw them turn to shock.

'Edward?' She yelped, looking at her hand in horror.

I looked down…

And groaned internally inside my head.

Somehow, (don't ask me how), my simple kiss on the back of her hand had transformed into something else.

_I was biting her hand!_

Kill.

Me.

Now.

**Ha, ha, ha, I hope you enjoyed that! I know it sounds REALLY crazy and weird, (because it is), but nevertheless, tell me what you thought! (and if you have any questions that you didn't understand)**

**Emeraldstarforever**

**xxx**


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